After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
