How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
