I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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