cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
