Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
