and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
