2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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