I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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