let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize