you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
