FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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