we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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