this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
