I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
