They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
whose parrot is this?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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