It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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