No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
