even my farts smell like vagina
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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