i just google imaged poop.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
