Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
