a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
