The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
