apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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