I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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