Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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