We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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