Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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