I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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