I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
