What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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