she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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