I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
