Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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