I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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