i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
