How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
