Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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