Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
