Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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