Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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