well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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