You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
