shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I need moral support for this bender
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
