she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The adults are the big ones right?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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