Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
