They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Actions speak louder than pants.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
