Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
