Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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