but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
