Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
