I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
