they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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