we made out on top of his cat.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
