Whod you bang
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
barbara walters just said penis...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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