I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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