Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
