He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
