My cat gives me a boner
this just has baby written all over it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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