Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
